Well This is a Ruddy Kerfuffle

I was wearing a baggy Cornell t-shirt underneath a bulky jean jacket, green cargo shorts, and dirty tennis shoes on the 8-hour train to Split where I would get a shower for the first time in two days. I was traveling with 40 of my college friends and our new Croatian friends. The Croatians brought along Italian friends, Mateo and Michele. The two came into my train car and took turns sitting on my lap, I was bewildered, but fine until they told me they weren’t wearing underwear. I freaked out and tried to politely get away from them as quickly as possible. I escaped my car for the dance car thinking I could get lost in the masses. The next thing I know someone is pinching my butt and kissing me. Seriously?! I was furious and Mateo’s face was stinging from my slap.

As an American woman I've had a lot of trouble with Italian men. We gained the reputation of being easy back in 1960’s. Men will still whistle at girls walking down the street and yell obscene Italian phrases to them. Even walking with my boyfriend they will say things to me.

The violation on the train wasn’t over. I turned around and Michele tried to dance with me. He grabbed my arms and pulled me in for a kiss. I’m dodged his kiss and pushed him away as hard as I could, but it wasn’t good enough. A million thoughts were going through my head – “Oh my god I’m going to be raped!”; “Is this considered cheating?”; “Eww his breath smells…”

For the past week I’ve been trying to figure out what I did wrong. Why did they do that to me? Did I lead them on in some way? I was lucky that I had my friend Ben there to push the guys off and yell at them. What do other girls do who aren’t so lucky? Never travel alone in Italy. Italian men don’t understand American sexual boundaries. In Italy if you make eye contact with a man or smile at him it means that you are showing interest in him and he will take full advantage of that so be careful.